Is It Anxiety Or Is It Excitement?
Anxiety is fear. Reasonable people can disagree about precise definitions of anxiety, but at its core we are always talking about the emotion of fear. And while there are no doubt times in our lives when fear is very appropriate (think being followed by someone while walking down a dark alley at night), the majority of people I work with are navigating relatively safe situations and yet they are overrun with anxiety.
As discussed in other blogs, there are all sorts of somatic practices to support us in moving energy and managing the intensity of what’s happening in our bodies. These practices can have profound impact in terms of learning to relax during situations that might trigger fear. However, we can also work to shift the story we have about our physical, bodily experience when we are triggered.
Anxiety vs. excitement
Let’s image two people standing atop a skyscraper and peering over the edge. One might exclaim, “this is so terrifying - I’m so scared”. The other, having the exact same physical experience, might say “this is so exciting - I love this feeling!”. Physiologically the two people are having very similar experiences - the sensations in their bodies might even be the same (for example, quickened heart rate, heat around the chest, tingling in the limbs) however they have very different stories about their experiences. It’s likely that the two people have very different prior life experiences and so the sensations they are experiencing have different meanings. Those meanings generate different self-narratives (stories).
Fear is the story we tell ourselves
Body sensations are neutral: there is nothing intrinsically frightening about feeling our heart race. The sensation is just a sensation until we give it meaning. The context we find ourselves in, our past experiences, and our ideas about the future will all dictate the meaning we generate about the experience we notice in our bodies. Feeling my heart start to race unexpectedly while lying in bed reading at night is going to produce a different story than the same racing heart beat I feel while exercising. In other words, you are the one telling yourself that you are afraid. Strictly speaking, we don’t feel fear; we feel our bodily reaction and then we label it fear. Fear is a story that we practice telling ourselves. After enough time, the story we tell ourselves seems like the only possibility, and we forget that there are different stories we could hold about our experiences.
Choose to focus on the story that serves you
The reality is that the energy you experience in your body when you are in triggering situations may be intense and uncomfortable no matter what you do to manage it. But the point is that you get to choose the story you live in. Do you want to live in a story of “I’m anxious”, or do you want to live in the story of “I’m really excited right now” or “I have a lot of energy in my body at this moment” or “I feel so alive”. Each of these stories are equally valid and as equally real as “I’m anxious”.
Of course your brain is going to want to focus on the more negative, fear-based thinking. This is normal and to be expected. The point is that you don’t have to focus on the fear - you can choose to focus on a story about your experience that is helpful and supportive. If you want to practice having a new story about what it means to have a lot of energy in your body, schedule a consultation to see if somatic bodywork and coaching are right for you.