Why Somatic Coaching Is So Different Than Somatic Therapy

Unlike somatic therapy, somatic coaching is distinctly focused on reshaping. This work is about learning to live in a body that is both relaxed and alive, soft and strong. To do this, we have to get to know our old shape, and practice being in our new shape.

What is reshaping?

Our history shapes us. Not only our parents, but also the greater cultural and social landscape we come from produces in us a certain way of being. This way of being (or shape) is comprised of the narratives and stories we think about, our worldview, the moods and emotions we live in, and the way we allow (or do not allow) energy to be in our bodies. Energy, in this context, is not an abstract concept, but is experienced as sensation in the body (tingling sensations, heat and cold, movement, pressure, etc.). 

Reshaping means first noticing, and then learning to shift and change the self-narratives, the moods and emotions, and the way we feel and experience the physical body. We want to shift to be more in alignment with our values; more in alignment with how we want to be different. 

For example, if you want to be more confident, you’ll want to pay attention to your spine and how you hold yourself in your length. Are you collapsed in your length? Are you overly rigid in your length - working too hard to keep your chin up and head above water? What do you notice around your chest? Are you pulled in toward the midline trying to protect yourself, or are you broad throughout your chest and shoulders, allowing yourself to be with the vulnerability of your life? A confident body is one in which you can be in your length without over-efforting. Are you listening to a story in your head about how you should have done something better or how you aren’t as good as others? You’ll want to shift that story to remind yourself you are doing your best and learning along the way. Do you walk around in a mood of resignation, perhaps frustrated with others or the world or yourself? What are you hoping to get from this mood? If it’s not serving you, you’ll want to move it into the background and shift your attention toward a mood that aligns with your values, such as being curious, upbeat, or loving. 

Reshaping is a practice

The whole point of somatic coaching is to learn practices that can support you in your process of reshaping. Once you’ve identified how you want to be different, the invitation is to practice shifting your attention to self-narratives, moods, and a way of being in your body that is congruent with how you want to be different. Remember that the brain receives messages from the body; if the body is communicating that it is relaxed, the mind will have a much easier time being relaxed and present. 

But isn’t this “faking it”?

Yes. “Fake it till you make it” works wonders for your somatic development. It’s the same for any development, actually. When you first learn to play tennis you aren’t any good at hitting a backhand, but you practice the form and “pretend” to be good at it until, lo and behold, you actually become good at it! This is how the body learns: you practice a form that at first feels new and uncomfortable until it becomes habitual and natural. 

But shouldn’t I be practicing accepting myself exactly how I am instead of trying so hard to change?

Also yes. It’s a bit of a paradox here. True acceptance (of yourself, your life, or the uncomfortable sensations in your body) allows for more softness and therefore more strength. Acceptance is one way into the reshaping process. When you accept yourself, you decrease the tension in the body and create more opportunity to change. Acceptance is self-compassion, and self-compassion is invariably in alignment with the new way of being you are wanting to cultivate. Acceptance doesn’t mean being okay with everything and therefore you don’t have to work on changing; acceptance means you stop fighting against what can’t be won. When you do this, you free up more of your time and energy so you can redirect it toward the changes you want to be making. 

Somatic coaching is not therapy, but rather a process of reshaping yourself through practice and repetition. Reach out to schedule a free consultation to learn more!